Excuse me!!! Here is a Menu for our soul...

Good Dresses, Cheering smile, a good car, Good Looking Home, A Understanding spouse and Intelligent & Disciplined children... is what every human is striving to get in the world. To get all these, you need Hard work (though you like such hard work /or a mere desire to acquire money is a differernt case) and a pleasing Behaviour (though, you are so / mere act - also does not matter)

Nothing wrong, to have such a Desire. But there is always a contradictory unusual unhappiness in everyone's Life. Infact, Everybody's Life ends in a Tradegy - The Death.

The above mentioned things, look like a Dream, all the time and it looks so unpractical to a minimum extent.

Reaching God, The road goes to a different unusual or un expected lane - which is far far distant to the road which get you the dreams of the world. Home, Spouse, children --- Though it brings so much of Happiness; God - reaching and realizing , is the Extreme way to ever ending Happiness.

Reaching God, is Uncertainly not an impossibility. But you need a firm decision to sit and listen to Him, to wait and talk to Him. He has answered, the one, who waits with full Hope. (No matter the cause is worldly or ertenity)

Realizing God, is a vast Art, where you need no good clothes, no better shoes, no good opinions, no cosmetics, no certificates. But a firm state of mind, to reach God and Surrender oneself completely to Him.

Letting the Human Soul to reach its Master, while at Life, could be the Greatest achievement, one can have during his Lifetime.

Still, with Young Kids and a sweet family, it is little difficult, to become a Sage, finding meaning for life. But no Hopelessness, it can happen any time, if we are prepared for it.

Parenting High School Children

Maths, Physics, Biology, Engineering alone does not help the universe to exist. There are many things, which we humans know,but many more we are still unaware of.

God's Creations are Unique, nobody is a photocopy, though similarities are excused. Just the same way, talents are unique too.

Parents, has to realize this simple fact. Chidren's inborn interests and talents, are to be recognized and natured, for them to excel in it. Once the students realize their recognition, they try to put in extra efforts in various other field like maths (whatever they are expected to be/ become)

Therefore, having a dream of a kid becoming a doctor/an Engineer is nothing wrong. But curbing their interest and replacing it with the dream of a parent is utter nonsense. The student will fail in expectation and in Life.

But by encouraging the kid, on his interest, He realizes his potential and will try the other options he has. Afterall, there is nothing impossible after many attempts. Hence his success is within his reach.

Leader Creation Possible? !!!

A leader is a person who guides others toward a common goal, showing the way by example, and creating an environment in which other team members feel actively involved in the entire process. A leader is not the boss of the team but, instead, the person who is committed to carrying out the mission. A Leader is never a dictator, but similar to a teacher, making things done through a positive approach.

Leader Qualities

1.Good Listener
2.Focused
3.Organized
4.Available
5.Include others
6.Decisive
7.Confident

Many arguments, that a Leader is born and a Leader is made exists even now.I should agree that Every person is a Leader by Birth, but his experiences might push him back or pull him front, on various circumstances.

Like how a baby wants to learn new things, Every individual experiment many things in Life, which actually decides if he is a Leader willing to lead everyone or a normal person, who wants to follow someone.

Leaders can be created easily by inducing a good attitude in the child's heart.
Some steps to Create leadership Quality

1. Encourage the individual periodically
2. Make the person come out of his Shell
3. Shown him and make him feel his inner potential
4. Make him realize his Importance
5. Teach him who a Leader is (not a boss)
6. Make sure, he is not overwhelmed, but stay humble or atleast resistant at all ups and downs
7. Above all,Teach him, to make way for the new Leaders

Not Every teacher/ counsellor can create Leaders of the same attitude. The wave Length of the Teacher/ Counsellor and the Student should match, for the spark to pick up.
The right Matchbox, with the right stick is needed to create the right flame with right intensity.

How Old are you?

Every Year,I feel very special on a single day. I have felt so special 26 times on my Birthdays. Albeit i am not 26 anymore,But I never felt like counting my years anymore after 26.

May be I dont want to consider myself Older... :)

I remember Learning Maslow's Theory many times, in my college days. Maslow's Theory is one of my favourite too. The Crux of the Theory is the various wants of mankind at different stages.

True, our wants differ, on stages... apart from food and shelter.

But the Social need is a very important one. Crossing this stage does not happen with age alone, also with the people involved in lives. Until you cross this need, self realization is not possible.

I should agree that Social Need, is a need on a continous basis. Any insecurity on the need at any stage, will make the person slide backwards on the hierachy of needs.

Not everyone have successfully felt that their social need is satisfied.

But Self realization is much more important, than anything else.

Thirukural classifies itself into three
1.Arathupaal
2.Porulpaal
3.Kaamathupaal

One can never try to taste Arathupaal which is Spirituality, without feeling fullness in Kaamathupaal which is Social/ Love needs.

Spirituality is not what i was thinking all these days. Reading scriptures, asking what all i need and Thanking for all i have got.

It is total Surrender of yourself to God. Complete Surrender, with no Questions. It is not possible as it looks like. Though you feel like surrendering, it cannot happen in few years. It slowly happens as years roll on.

And you will surrender, when you realize, you have lived and it is enough. You will Simply obey when your ears, eyes, speech, hands and Legs deny yourself.

And You should be Lucky, if you can surrender yourself. Because, you will not feel bad of missing the world anymore. Your pains and Fears will not become an issue. And you would eagerly waiting just to go with Him...

Happy are those, who can taste Eternity!!!

Please Stop Violence

It happened to see a video clipping of how the tamils of Sri Lanka were tortured during the civil war. I do not know the Hisory of the Fight, nor anything about the Tigers. I am not supporting anybody here...

BUT...

It was a 90 minutes clipping. In the same week i pissed in the bed thrice... So disturbing So Hurting.

I may hate someone, my family or community might hate somebody, still they have a right to live.

Blue Cross, What is it for???????

When Humans were not given the respect which we give for animals, why, where is the necessity for associations like Blue cross???

Some Tamil Movies, relesed after the civil war, have Scences of people gets tortured in Nudity. I beg you Story Writers, to Stop taking scences, which depicts the tortures of Sri Lanka.

We are Born to Live, Live at Peace. We might own many Properties, But who ever we are, What ever Position we are in, we will have to Leave everything and Die One day.

Until then why not we aim, to Live happily and Let Live others Happily????

Please Stop Violence, and Lets stop making the Blood Soil!!!

Campus Recruitment

I have been working for Meta i Technologies for more than 7 years as a part timer. Niether i know them properly or they know me well. It keeps coming occasionally, i am with them, as a blue moon.

This meta - i technologies, is in Bangalore and they are into a niche business. They help the open universities conduct exams and some top companies in their recruitment process.

I have worked for them in their recruitment division for companies. I remember having variety of experiences, working with them.But could never forget the campus recruitment, which we had with the Dhanlakshmi college of Engineering, chennai.

We were representing a No.1 company in India on that particular Day. The HR Anchor, was little late and i am the only lady (apart from the HR) in the team, to reach the college first.

Received in red carpet, the chairman and his team was waiting to receive us,with bouquets and chocolates. I stopped getting down from the traveller, merely looking at the way they stood there. I managed to get down, thinking in mind, to respect them the least i can.

Two girls, fully dressed in sarees, followed me, wherever, i went; the entire day. Gosh, could never forget the breakfast we had, started with kesari, idly, poori, dosai and pongal, with its side dishes; same with a Big Great lunch...

I was supposed go report to the control room, while they requested me to come to the auditorium, when i entered, they started playing the music, while the entire student crowd stood up..

Second time in life, this is happening to me, after my wedding march.

Though i tried the lectuerers to stop honouring me, since the HR wuld be the actual person to be honoured this way. They made me sit, and the HR followed me with the music.

It all looked like a wedding, where the groom and their communities were honoured to the core, for the sake of the bride. The way they kept on honouring the HR looked, how the mother in law is honoured on a wedding day.

Corporates, Cultures, Recruitment, College, Student, everything was kind of good mess that day, though all of us enjoyed... I still could not digest that a campus recruitment happened that day...

Leadership

Everytime, I come through the word "Leader / Leadership Quality" my mind travels to my past and have made me happy.

When i finished my Graduation/ Post Graduation, I seldom see people coming forward to do new things. May be that would have given me all the chances to show off my strengths and qualities to the world I know. I could call myself lucky to project me that way, since all opportunties knocked the way i passed through. Yet the thirst for Leadership still within me.

Its been 5 years, since i post Graduated, 7 Years, since i Graduated and 10 years, since i finished school. So many changes have occured, in everyway i know. My entire world has changed from the North pole to the South. Infact,now i love the way i am...

It happened to me to visit one of the institution, where i was working some 5 years ago. There, they have called me, based on my old records and achievements for a short assignment. Though i cannot take up some serious careers, the offer looked attractive, since i can use my comfortable timings,being an old person, i have become a priority and i had a comfort zone of not developing a new reputaion.

Everything in the institution was changed though, the seniors remained the same, that is why a second chance was given to me. I; before 5 years, was demanding attention and was the centre of attraction, with my attitudes. While a lot of new and fresh people have joined and now, they wanted to proove themselves, and dying to demand attention of the institution.

Now the Question is, should i still compete with them and behave the same as i was before 5 years or Should i let the new ones feel that they are important to the institution. It a kind of a confusion in the beginning.Adding to fire, one of the young chap told me, "Lady, times have changed, Process have been modernized, why now you suffer with all this stuff, we will manage, and we will give you the easiest ones. You can stay relaxed and do it, by taking your time". I know nothing has chnaged in the process, expect for a new implementation, which would hardly take few minutes for me brush through.

But then, Now i am supposed to behave matured, for they age i am in, I will have to accept the fact, i am no more a college girl or a trainee, to prove everyone; that i am capable of doing those small things which i have proved myself earlier.
Also, i remembered, my seniors, who actually let my ground free, when i felt i wish to proove myself and i was lucky enough to make everyone have a look at me.

I have tasted it before, now its time for me, to lay the ground for the young chaps to have varities of career satisfaction, which i had when i was at the beginning of my career.

Leaving way, is also one important thing i learnt these days, and i believe, this is again a form a Leadership, which is rarely recognized, yet understood.

Me, as a Mother

Being a Mother is always difficult. Numberless poetry that praises a mother; Large number of stories, highlighting the sacrifices of a Mother; Beautiful songs, in various Langugaes praising Motherhood - Yes, Motherhood is worthy to be Praised.

But Being a Mother is so stupid as well. All your senses are alarmed to protect the baby, all the time. You keep looking for chances, to improve the kid's health, IQ and the Body. You keep on thinking new ways to improve everything, You are into Innovation.

But However, good you are, However caring you are, However the world's best mother you are - The child cries. The only weapon the Child has in its hand to let the world know, that it is feeling uncomfortable.

With all intensions, being excellent, we tend to handle the baby. But does the baby really needs that??? We dont know. Everytime, we give the best food - does the baby likes it? we dont know. Every 3- 4 hours, we tend to feed the baby every day; but if it skips one meal, we get a heart attack... we fail to understand the child's Heart. Doesn't it seem like a dictatorship????

See, I wish to understand, who a Parent is. The child should be grown well, with Education and Good Health. Thoughts, Actions, Habits and Intensions of the kids has to be streamlined. A moral, Physical and emotional support had to be given to them, until they can stand on their own.

For these causes alone, Parents are required for the child. Not to give them, what we didnt taste in our childhood, yet was longing to have- when we were a child. Not to give them an Education, which we were unable to do- Yet Dreaming about it. Kids are not a continuation of Ourselves. They are different individuals, who will have different likes and Dislikes.

Being a True Parent is very difficult, Listening to the child's feel and balancing them to grow;with the resources we have, with all goodness and smartness; and above all their likes and preferences had to be given importance.

Well, all these lines are just because i felt i was feeding my little daughter and she wanted to skip it, while i was keen with my intension to make her finish her food and she cried with a look, that made me feel ashamed of myself for being atrocious.

Finally i have let her free to play and now sleep at Peace, Yet having a grave feeling inside, for being a dictator, and i know i cannot leave my dictatorship all of a sudden...

I am Learning many things from my kids these days...
Growing as a Mother... Should grow as a Good Mother.

Trying to Break My silence!!!! - Inner search

Since Childhood, i was lazy to read books. Be it a Novel, Fiction, or any other material, if it crosses a few pages, i have never had a history of finishing it.

Now,i am trying to get used to read books; considering the Silence left after a crunch. Well, this Silence is really new to me, with complete blankness in mind, feeling as if i wish to walk straight by looking at the clouds...

I stopped Myself, and said "Hey common, what are u doing?" and then i walked straight home.

I could only match it with the thirst we have for water. But even after drinking it, if you continue feel more thirsty, it is kind of little unusual...

May be my mind is looking for a deep relaxation, and may be it is thirsty..

It is good, but i should get myself ready for the upcoming challenges, wich may not be possible if i continue to feel like a monk...

Over the past, my mind and mouth were always busy thinking and talking at something or someone.

Fine, i should acknowledge this Silence, since, it has made me cultivate an interest to read after all these years.

Well, reading good books, is making me good as well... i wish to appreciate myself for having considered this opportunity to read....

a drop of tear after a smile

Tears Flowed down, so badly, couldn't notice, if it came from right eye or Left eye after seeing my boy smiling at me after 8 days time.

He had a periodic fever, though active and playing, yet the smile he has in his face were missing all these days. The first day, everyone could understand, that it was due to his body pain he wasn't smiling enough.

Slowly when days rolled on, the lack of smile in his face took away all the smiles we had.

Everyday there was a hospital visit or a lab visit, yet everyone says, he was fine.
But my heart was looking for the reason, of his lack of smile.

Finally found the problem, and medications were on...

Doesn't know if he's cured or not...

But Thanks to God, his Smiles are back

And our smiles too...

With deepppp Sighhh.... my face had a small smile with lots of tears

Certain things are hard to Understand

This article is not aimed to Blame someone,It is just a kind of analysis, inviting comments for further discussion. This is not intended to hurt anybody.

Recently i saw two pictures in facebook.

One,

A young lady trying to protect her boyfriend / husband / friend with her bag, while it was raining heavily. The picture was awesome.

There were plenty of comments from lots of men and women like "so sweet", " NOw this is what we call real love...." and "supr like.....:):)"

and Most women had liked it.


Two,

A young Man was pulling the motor cycle by hand, while his girl friend/wife/ friend was sitting on it. Fine,this picture was also awesome to me.

But the picture's theme was "if u really need girl friend,,,be prepared 4 anything........"

This picture also has plenty of comments like "Yaro petha pullaiyo ippadi vandi izhukkuthu" , " kalyanathuku munadiye ippadina... kalyanathuku apparam.... aiyoo pavam..." and "ithu ellam kadhalikka arambitha konjanaal mattum thaan after that andtha ponnu car thalluravanooda poiduvaa!!!!. so andtha paiyan free agiduvaan!!!!!!! so cool buddy????????????????"

have to agree Some comments for the picture two, also was pleasing to my heart like

i dont think galz r tat much arrogant !!??
i agree not all r like tis.......tis is just 4 fun....
wow nice shot.....

i find the analysis of these two pictures were done in two different ways, though they both look alike...

I feel its hard to Understand, the cause for such a different analysis

Does anyone know, the toughest work a woman has?

After graduation, i tried finding a job, it was tough yet manageable.
While working, it had to show performance, fine, it is not a big problem

After wedding, to take up responsibilities, was a challenge too
To work and to be a wife was challenging as well
Pregnancy was very challenging
Delivery to the Number 1

But to feed the kids from milk to semi solids, my God... Unexplainable...

A page from my recent Past

Helping my friend with my small twins,is difficult. Still, i have made my mind to help her, in ways i could.

The day started with my back Pain at 3.30 am, in the morning, with my disturbed sleep. My Bro tried to wake me at 4.00 for the daily morning walk. I could not make it up, though the pain was troubling me, i was only half awake.

Mind was asking the body to wake up, for the walk; while the body was hesitating to get up. with struggles i started for the walk at 5.00, my son cried and i fed him till 5.30 and stepped out.

with just 12 rounds, in the mehta nager ground, i decided to quit walking in the ground and walked towards the church. The clock turned 6.10, and the morning prayers were on, yet the mass is at 6.30. Went to the Communion room, since i felt i need a private place for a conversation with the creator. Tired after the walk, the air conditioned room gave me real good feeling that unknowingly i spent 20 minutes there.

Reached home at 6.30, saw my kids playing in the bed. washed hands, and went to play with them for a while. The Aunty, who takes care of my kids had filed the buckets with metro water. Though i was happy,i pitied her that she has lifted it from to the ground floor to the second.

Since we had bitter experiences, walking in the companies, we decided to rest for few days and start the search after some days. While, My Bro came up with advertisements in newspapers.

This time, I hesitated to accompany her, still she is very new to chennai, I started with her. The interview was with New India - Impulse, 25, Tulak Office Road, Saidapet. When we decided to appear for it, it was 12.30 in the afternoon, the Sun is all set to show its greatest glory.

We en quired lot of idiots, but no one know where the Tualk office Road was. Travel in bus, reminded me my early life. we got down in the old Bus stand and asked a quite a few people and no one knows where it was. Finally decided to walk straight through the bridge. An auto Driver came that way, asked where, we need to go.

We said, we dont need a drop, since, we dont know where the place was. He asked us to get in, and in return to give him a change of Rs.20. Looking at the eating sun, we started in the auto. Just after the bridge, he stopped to ask where the place was. My friend was trying to get my attention, to tell me that we were standing in front of the New India Office, while i was busy asking the route.

Slowly the auto driver told me, it looks little far, and he needs 50 Rupees. At the Dawn of our arguments, My friend, shouted, we are standing right in front. I gave him 50 and asked him to give 30 back, while he gave just 20. The arguments went to some level, i felt, it is not worth to speak more, since we had to go back home, my kids are waiting for me.

The Interview took only 10 minutes, i was happy inside, thinking i can take my friend back home. Came out and realized, we are very near to the chenna malai church.

Prayed, had some water and we dont know, which way to go. Some person who looked similar to a watch man came to our sight, we went to ask the way.

He started in English. He was so fluent, as if he was a CEO of some Company. The conversation went along with some pieces of advice to us. He, being so simple, wearing worn out clothes, i asked him, if he were a priest. He said, he is waiting for a call from Jesus Christ. He added, he was working with 25 companies, settled all his three children, having a kid each. I asked where he wife was, He replied, she agreed to go with Jesus 30 years ago and now buried in the Cemetery of the same church.

With Thanks, when we were about to leave, He asked me a favor, to give him Rs.10.

With so many questions,in mind, we both walked away.

Does a wife mean so much to a man, of Old age?

Also, whoever you are, Money places vital role in every one's life, be it an auto driver, my friend, who is in the job hunt process and the so called "Selfless old person"

Life is Great, Each day is a Learning!!!

Written on some date in 2008, though outdated, looks appropriate even today!!!

10 pieces of Advice, which i gave myself - when i first decided to get married. Found interesting even now.

I’m not somebody who is just dropped from heaven. I have been here for 24 years in this world.

You are person who is about to enter my life, so I may not be so causal and free with you in the beginning. It might take some time.

Be as you are, and let me be like me as I’m. Let’s try accepting us as we are… don’t worry we would change as time passes on.

It is not ¾ of happiness and ¼ of bitterness; it will be ¾ of difficulties and ¼ of special attention towards each other. It is we who should take things positively and find solutions.

There should never be an “I” but every time, it should be “we”…. We should practice this and make it possible.

Understand we are humans and we do mistakes. It is always the same even if it is done by you or me… doesn’t make much of difference.

Think a 1000 times before choosing me…. Never think once that you made a mistake, and why did I not choose a better person? Remember even it is someone else; the person will again be a human

Nothing is going to stay, except for the sweet memories. I would try best to become your memories and you be mine.

Let it be good or worse, let it be success, difficulty, pain, responsibility or forgiveness ….. You are my first person and I’ll be yours.

Together we would say the world, living together is neither impossible nor a difficulty if use LOVE as salt and pepper here and there as we go along.

Brave Heart

It is unfair on my part to speak about a Brave heart. Yet, i do, since our lives would be much better, if i had one.

Everybody are emotional idiots. I should call myself as a "Better idiot".On my part, i would love to stay in idiocy, as i love being emotional.

Crying over small problems, i had spent lot of my energy, while i failed to foresee the future. If i had, by now, i would have had a better life for my Husband and Children.

Living every minute is essential, besides life really doesn't stops at the minute. It extends with hours, day, week and Years....!!!

Fine, nothing has really spoiled,still lot more time is available.

I hate to take decisions myself, though i do and i have done as a back- end process. May be now its time for me to stay brave, stand firm, till the time, the future is assured.

Well, again, i love being an idiot, an emotional idiot...

But, i have realized, i would be at fault, if i continue to be an idiot,while i should be brave and assure a happy future.

Hope The Creator, would be with us, in tough times. Nothing to worry much,while its time to Rejoice, looking at the happy future.

Does hurts heal?

Unusual situations would make people, to react. Staying calm over the tide is extremely difficult. Still no one could stay clam for a long period without reacting.

The more you bear, the more it bursts. So it is not only important staying calm, but to stay calm until the problem solves is the task. When it burst things would conclude to the worst.

All physical hurts will get healed sooner than the hurt, the words make. No medicine is there to heal wounded hearts. Time is the only doctor, who could heal the wounded heart.

So lets be careful in the choice of words, that once it is uttered we cannot take it back.

Addicted to blogger???

Thinking if i am really addicted to blogspot? In a way yes, but had to admit the more important reason is that i love to come back to my life with my usual hobbies and life style.

Also, had to admit, the toughest situations have almost ended. Now that, ad-mist, the most busy schedules, i love to write and Thanking God for letting me get some time for writing, and spending time in my favorite activities.

Getting back my life, my Love, and my wishes....

My Children - Gifts from Heaven Above

I had dreams about my wedding, even before it happened. Life after wedding was also kind of my dream come true, like managing with responsibilities, husband, maintaining a sweet home. We had one solid year to understand, fight, misunderstand, love, adjust, forgive and so much to do with each other. Though every day was a kind of a busy schedule, life was beautiful {though it did not seem to be then ;)} and to think about it now is great. Infact after a year, even now, we both still refresh ourselves thinking about the year 2009- 2010

My Children - Sweeter than the sweetest roses i love is definitely a gift from the Ruler of Heaven above. And i should admit that my husband loves our children more than me in every way. He wanted to have them soon after marriage, while i wished to have them after a couple of years. Looking at his deep desire, i wished and planned to get pregnant.

Pregnancy, being twins, i had so many difficulties right from the date of conception.Well there is no point now taking about the difficulties, since i see very small beautiful faces resembling my husband everyday. To think of him as a Father, is both kind of Joy and embarrassing in a way - since i have always seen my husband as a lover, Husband, friend... now this is new and feeling really different to see him as a father.

Seen him, and have scolded him directly and directly inside my heart so many times for being playful, even when i expect him to be responsible. Now, as a father with the children - for around 16 days, i have seen him being so responsible...

Hope these beautiful Angels from Heaven would change my world upside down.

All i wish and pray for their weight gain and health as soon as possible. They were born underweight since they were born 36 + 2 days on friday Feb 18, 2011. i did not dare to take snaps of them, they are so small...

The God, whom i have been trusting all these days will surely help me , my kids and my husband, to overcome the difficult situations and surely we shall have our lives together inside the same roof..

Thanks to God Almighty. Thanks for every soul who remembered our family in Prayers. Glad and Blessed now with a Baby Boy and a Baby Girl. Plz continue to remember all four of us in your prayers.

Thankful to everyone who was, is and are with us in all our difficult situations.

Temptation - the real tests of Life

From the day i started to read Bible, i dare not step in to read the book of Job. I am so scared to read it, till this day.

Though the words in a speech, words in a book, dialogue in a scene are easy to hear, read, or see; It is hard to feel it from inside and to realize its actual essence. And when it comes to life's toughest moments, its never easy to really feel its actual pain or agony.

I can never sit and complete a novel or a big story book, while i am always interested in short stories or least it should be smaller, like a chapter in the Bible. I believe, i have almost read the entire Bible once in my Life time, Yet the book of job, i haven't yet completed.

Well, Job, to me is a greatest Saint, since it is hard to hope when there is utter hopelessness. it is hard to expect miracles, when troubles overflow on top of you.

Being good, worshiping the true god, not committing adultery, murder, stealing, not making false witness, not coveting could be easier (though it is not)while to remain in hope is harder than anything else, when you are physically unwell.

I admire, Job, always, for remaining in hope till the end that God could not stop Blessing him more than twice of all he had earlier. Again its easier for somebody to quote Job as an example; but in reality to follow him is a very big deal and it is a big temptation to go astray in hopelessness.

I never knew, that temptation could also be in the form of continuous negative thoughts which pushes down resisting our minds to think about the good things which God has kept for us,expecting us to hope for our rescue.

True Self - Revealed...

Being emotional looking at difficult situations, i have always left, that the world needs to be changed. "Will someone be born again to change it? " is often questioned in my mind. Sometimes, at the hype of emotions, i would even feel, why don't i step in to change the world???

Giving a thought for a while i would stay calm and say to myself, "Hey common, the world is so huge, making a difference is not so easy". Being a student in Catholic institutions, some little services, i was compelled to do - it could be considered as an effort to change the society to a minimum possible extent.

But when i started working out on my better self, i realized, day in and day out i had to try hard to change myself, that it looks changing myself is equally challenging and sometimes even more difficult than changing the world.

Learning Wisdom and applying it in Life, is not easy. One cannot play fake in changing oneself that unless a 100% effort is put it, nothing worthwhile comes out of it.Everyday is a learning process, the more you feel you are good enough, the more you have to learn and the more challenges you have to face.

People would say, you are so good at one point of time, and the same would say that you are indifferent and selfish the other day. There is nothing so good to be felt happy, when we are given a good remark or to be felt sorry when a bad one steps in. Not that it doesn't mean anything to anybody. Since it is continuous process, it is not worth to feel happy or to regret on it. But should be considered just a waste of time, analyzing what and how others think or feel about you.

Though, it looks simpler not to react, or to be worried on other's views, working on it is never easy. It might even take a life time to get to such a state of maturity. But striving for it can be done, and at times, we might feel its benefits too.

As a Human, you are nothing greater than any other Mammal is a real fact. Though it looks like a submissive word, wisdom knocks the people who has humility in heart, mind and Soul.

Using Domination, Dictatorship and bossing someone, we never prove ourselves superior to the other. Unfortunately, for generations after generations people think that these are important traits, when followed gives good results. May be it would have given for a short period of time. But for long, it only results in hurt - not only to others, even to Self.

Best Example - King Napoleon

The advantage of changing self rather than changing the world is, as you go, you keep influencing people and they change looking at you, without you giving an effort.
Also, your views, the way you see things keeps on giving you an inner satisfaction of everyday life.

It gives you better confidence in facing life's challenges and you will feel an increase in self respect, and not pride.

Well,all i realize is that, i am still a very young beginner and to grow in Wisdom, i should always remember to stay HUMBLE and this word will make me grow, when i practice it in everyday Life.

A Common Difficulty!!! - Resisting to Hope, Difficulty in Trusting for the Best

I have asked so many, to feel at ease through their difficult times, though i know that it is a common human difficulty to stay with hope, trust God and believe with the positive side of life, when inability pushes us down.

But however good you are,in Hoping for the best, certain situations, difficulties, uneasiness pushes you down, that you will seek God, as if it is the first time, you are seeking Him, asking a favor, even after receiving so many blessings and miracles from Him.

Here is one from me, a page in my diary written on 12/1/2011

I like to post this, as this will remain as a proof,to realize God's blessings which will definitely prove that, i am a fool, and due to uneasiness i resisted to Hope for the best.

God,

I am getting larger and feeling dis comfortable to do the daily chores.
Lord, I am kind of scared, let me be brave enough; above all let me trust You with all my heart and soul.

I am 31 weeks now, and my tummy looks bigger than ever, looking as if it cannot expand anymore. But I had to agree that there is nothing which is not possible for You.

Due to human inability, though my soul keep on instructing me to stay cool (as nothing bad will happen), I am disturbed.

God give me faith, You Promised to give me two kids, You gave and I am carrying. As said in Isaiah 66; You will take care of me; why should i disturb my Husband and parents by letting them know the way i feel. God, give me Courage, give me Physical and Mental Strength.

God, whenever i have opened my desires to you, before letting anybody else know what it is, I know, You being my Father, have satisfied my Desire. Now i desire, that my kids should never be kept in NICU even for a day.

I have read in the scripture, " If a son asks for bread, will the father give him a snake? If a human father is so much concerned about his son; How concerned will the Heavenly Father be?"

I believe in You, Lord. I will have no Fear, if i am guided by You all Day and Night. Now that, i am tired and feeling dis comfortable, I need your extra Care and Comfort. Don't leave me and get busy with other responsibilities, Lord. Be with me, Because i cannot afford to scare anybody Human here.

If You are with me, i can Easily Manage all my difficulties.You were with me in all my past difficulties and pains.

Otherwise, how could a person like me??? remain so quiet and relaxed; when things were what it is now and before?

Thank You Lord, for all your blessings. Give me a heart to remember and Count all Your Blessings and Promises' You made for me and that I have realized, tasted and received from You.

Help me to remain Simple and Humble, so that i can seek and find You. And You are available.

Love,

Ur Daughter