LOVE

Definition says "Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection". Looks Good, isn't it? A year before, I sat with few students who should be of ages 8 - 10 to pass my free hour,to have a general discussion with them. I asked them "what is Love?" Giggles came from them... Well, they are not to be blamed;this is the input we have given them; that they confuse love and love making (i mean the emotional one, not the physical one)

Then, I thought for a while and asked them again, Do you all love your mommy and Daddy? They all said "yes", then i continued; Is it so funny that made you giggle for the love, affection and regard that you have for your parents? There was silence. But then, just as so many of our movies in different media (languages)depicts, i even did not have a proper answer, other than pointing on the definition to make those little students understand what is love.

Fine, I then asked myself what is love - to find out if i really know what it is?, how does it look look like?,how does it make you feel?,do i really love somebody? and the questionnaire continued. I have tried answering to the questionnaire several times, All i realize is, i am still not grown enough to practice the depth of Love.( Results of self evaluation)

The World even though is very sinful, has paradises inside, in the form of LOVE.May be (b'coz, this is related to creation and existence of the planet Earth - i use "May be") this is the reason why the Earth is having a long Life.

Love is "BEAUTIFUL" - It does not apply make ups, to look beautiful;(ha ha...) but it shows the real nature of people and their readiness to sacrifice, forgive and accept people without regrets.

Love is like a "MELODY" - Without instruments, it can still make your soul delight. Trust, without doubt; Honoring each other irrespective of ages; Practicing Hospitality.

Love is more than a "DELICIOUS FOOD" - Real Love makes people Sincere, Trustable. It makes people live in Harmony and at Peace. It protects the mouths of people not to utter words, which spoils peace.

Well, lot more i can add on, but never to the extent as it is explained in the Bible (Chapter - 12 Romans)

You could earn anything, you can maintain a very good physique, you can have, wear anything you like, you can go anywhere you want - But you can never sleep unless you love yourself. You can never be at peace unless you realize, there is someone to accept you with all your blunders. It could be anyone - a mother, a Father, a brother, a sister, wife, Husband or a friend. This is Love.

When Trying to Love oneself (ourselves) and our beloved's - we turn beautiful each day, we understand things better, our faith and hope increases towards life - despite difficulties. We make our lives beautiful, relationships beautiful. We Trust more. Our Overall faith in Our Creator will increase - letting more miracles happen in our lives.

So, Why not???

Let's Love ... As Stated in Romans 12

Let the Love make the World a Paradise as it has, It is and it will be.
Let everyone know the real Love and taste its sweetness
Let Families Stay together and let children delight in togetherness
Let There be be understanding of Real Love

Let The Love of God Rule the World.

Dinning Together!!!

How Often do we make an attempt to have food together? Busy lives, with plates on hand, walking here and there, is the way sometimes we have our food. I don't blame anyone, because i myself, does the same, when i am in a hurry.

But i am never busy all the time. I can dine together, for at least a single meal.

Remember, family that prays and dines together, stays together.

There are some common hurdles, we get every day, in dinning together. It could be work,a phone call, visitors waiting to meet etc. How often do we realize, the importance of dining together??? Many times, we tend to sacrifice our precious private time for the sake of unnecessary work, call, meeting etc.

It doesn't require a fantastic table,with showy utensils and a great variety of food for dinning together.It just requires basic cleanliness, a caring person to offer food, pleasing words with sweet smiles....

There are also certain things to remember, while dining together. Share and speak only good things, while dinning; Sharing not so good things might prevent somebody in the future to avoid dinning together. It is as important to take care of dinning, just as the way we concentrate on cooking. Thus, by ensuring a happy situation for dinning encourages all members of the family, to get involved and even to get the desire of dinning together.

After all, we are all humans, we need love; which is available in the family in plenty. Why don't we take some efforts to express it whenever we can, instead of searching it outside (especially our children) ???

Intuition - "thoughts and preferences that come to mind quickly and without much reflection"

Its hard to explain what an "intuition" is, without the help of a dictionary, when there is a situation; to explain people, that your intuition is right. Some people are not wise enough to think beyond the horizon, and plan things.

I am one such stupid always moved with my intuitions. I am not proud, also not feeling great my intuitions are proved. But i could not stop following it, nor could argue that they are true and could not make people believe the way i was carried away by the same.

May be i am programmed to remain Silent by the Creator, while he works out things for me. Though many times, i know it and realize even before it's actual occurrance. I have never bothered about my people criticizing for my intuitions - not that i don't mind; but most of the time; i remain helpless without words or actions to stand for my intuitions. I just know, that i can never claim that it was me, who have done it - that something happened, just the way my intuitions have told me.

But when, it hurts my people, i rather feel bad; and blame myself for following my intuitions. Even now it says, "Hold on, this is temporary, you will see great things ahead - Nothing has come to an end, still life continues; and things will be clear than what is it now"

Until then, i (had to)will Hold on; with hope...

I don't know, if somebody else is like me. I have never had an appropriate answer, of any kind of question anybody asks. But I believe certain things, without a reason...

And i don't know what to call it other than "Intuition"

Agree to Disagree

A naked Truth is not one human can claim that he / she is perfect. Still, everybody evidences the expectations from others are set to be really perfect. Many times, certain nothings has eaten me,due to high expectations. Well, this would have been experienced by so many.

Another Bitter truth is, about the conflict of being a better person by oneself. Unless, one compromises with the past; it would be really difficult for the person to love himself/ herself.If this is the case, how could we expect others to be supernaturally human???

Though certain things are common, known fact, it becomes real challenging situations in terms of maintaining relationships. As abstracts, it might look like some trigonometrical formulae; But when it is applied to situations in terms of relationships, it becomes lot more meaningful.

Some (many) people wanted dolls, as their relations. Whatever, they wish to see, they want them to be, they expect them to be. It is nothing too funny to be criticized, since many of us, really wanted dolls, yet fail to express it due to reasons. It doesn't stop there, because those expectations would certainly react in a different way. We fail to realize, dolls doesn't exists in relationships.

Well, an average human cannot be too philosophical, with no expectations. Also, reacting to unsatisfied expectations would not help in anyway either.

Looks like i am kind of confusing, but its simple.

Agree to disagree with people, situations and expectations. Unless one does this, something would be eating up the minds forever.That doesn't mean that, you should stop telling, what you need from relations. Tell them, try make them understand and feel the necessity of fulfilling your need.

One might fail innumerable times, in making someone understand. Still keep Trying, You might be successful someday. Never react, it would not help other than damaging the relationship.

Always "Agree to Disagree" with Oneself, others and situations.

Parenting - the most toughest and enjoyable human task in Life

Parenting as a discussion, i don't know where to start and where to end. Thousands of ideas are flowing from right to left and left to right in my head. But i would try to concentrate on its importance and certain issues before we come to the end of this blog.

A kind of responsibility, love and ever lasting relationship is what needed for every relationship in a family be it our spouse or our children.

Well, me and my husband, wished to be wed, before all our elders. we had our engagement the day before our wedding.Looking at the photographs, we both looked so fresh on our engagement, but for the wedding our faces looked pretty confused. Couldn't deny, at the church, i had so many questions in mind,

would i make myself a good wife for all circumstances?
Would i manage to take responsibilities of this man and for this man?
Would i manage the entire family stay at happiness for the rest of my life? and so many.

All i noticed, is He was confused, just the way i am. I hardly had a single prayer on that day, God let me take the vows seriously and Give me strength to follow it the rest of my life.

You might wonder, how is this related to parenting, well, i believe, this is the first and foremost step in parenting - the foundation for parenting. Unless, this is taken so seriously(need not be on the wedding day)but for life; the essence of parenting would be lost.

I have always wondered at nuns and fathers, who has a history of giving practical solutions to family problems and parenting issues. It had surprised me, till the time i realized something funny about myself as a teacher. In-fact i was not a teacher for more than 2 years, i was able to motivate and make my students feel the way i did; which is a very difficult task for the same talented person to do as a parent. I personally know a successful counselor of a high school, who counsels the entire school especially the students, took her son to a different person to counsel.

Probably this is the reason, why nuns fathers and counselors (in general)are successful at giving solutions to family and parenting issues.

Myself and my husband, loved to have children soon after our wedding, but we least know about parenting till now. May be just like the counselors, i would even stop discussing about parenting being a parent in the near future.

Once we went for a trip to Al Ain Zoo with our neighbors (could be called as our relations too)The Place,where the Zoo is located was very vast and people are supposed to walk beyond the parking area. It was neither summer nor winter, but being a desert area, the temperature was not bearable. Our neighbors had a kid, that we all had shifts in lifting the kid for the entire place.At one point, i was very tired, i couldn't even walk, that i totally forgot about carrying him for the rest of the place. All i had in mind, was what would i do, if i have my own kid, in his place. I remember the kid's parents lifted him all through the zoo, while me and my husband at one point spoke about this straight to them.

He just answered the nature would provide you strength when you are made as a parent.(which is quite surprising but true - i believe)

Another instance i remember is a conversation between myself and my sister about my niece's behavior on seeing an ice cream parlor. My sister was forced to take her there out of embarrassment, for the way she screamed, in public to have them ; despite having a cold. I just suggested not to take her, however she screams in public and asked her not to consider that situation as an embarrassment. Well, as a third person, it is easy to say- what is right, but i wouldn't know what i would have done on such a situation.

Well, after thinking a lot - i understood a solution, if, my sister takes my niece continuously to the ice cream parlor(may be on a daily basis); there is a chance for her to reduce the craze of ice creams.

There are plenty of similar situations, we can go on discussing, probably this blog wouldn't be enough for a discussion on a very large scale.

All i would suggest and i wanted myself to follow as a parent is, reacting to children (would apply to elders as well) would never help solving issues. Problems would solve only on mere understanding of situations, and above all most things should be forgiven, sometimes not be remembered ever again.

The Real need, is we as parents should grow as well, along with our children in minds and should try to control it on being emotional on reacting to situations. A proper prayer or yoga would help us being better parents , even to our spouses, for that matter.

Would love to give myself and my husband an " all the best" for being good parents for our children.

Humility is all what humans need to be considered good by God

I remember one of the chapters in English in my lower grades, about a thief, who wept at the demise of his faithful dog. Well, the story concentrates on something else and now, i have something else to discuss.

The universe is created, in order and it is still existing in order, everything, every star, every planet, every meteoroid, the oceans here in earth, the seas, the mountains, the hills, the eco-system everything is in order, they exist in order. We live, thinking they will exist in order, we take everything for granted, thou we sin and do bad most of the time, to the earth and to its living creatures, be it human or animal.

Let's come to the thief - story again, being a thief, he has stolen, kidnapped, murdered - have done so many things which are bad. But when his only attachment, his dog, died - the human inside him came out and wept.

Every human, by creation is good, because he/she is been created by God, the most of all good, we know, we feel.

There are innumerable methods followed, by various religions thinking that they please the most super natural power through their sacrifices/prayers/the methods. Well, these methods are being followed (sometimes very strictly) for generations after generations. Does those prayers followed really pleases God???

Most of all, we discriminate people on the way they worship God. We criticize them for the way they follow. We hurt them, many times with our knowledge, sometimes without our knowledge for the practice, they follow.

Sometimes, we threaten people staying, unless they follow a particular method, they will not enter the eternal life after death.

People are confused, and many of them started following atheism, because of the followed traditional methods of searching God, does not seem to convince their inner soul/mind.

Does God really need all these strict practices we follow?
Does He really need so many discriminations among people, on the way they Search and Love and Serve God?
Does He really want us to threaten people about eternal life, that they may come and join a particular way of serving God?

I don't want to answer these questions, not that really i don't know, but i don't want to hurt anybody by the way i answer.

Because, whatever methods/ practice we follow, if we do bad to anybody of any religion, who are the least of people we know, we do not please God. We rather hurt Him.

Loving and Serving God, can also be done by loving our neighbors we know and having a fear for the Creator who created us, even before we are formed.

If we really want anybody to change, we should rather stay humble in all our activities and seek the creator's help in silence that if it were His will, let Him use us as an instrument to change whoever He wishes to change.
And we have no right to have credit for such a change in somebody else's life, because, The Creator is the one, who could make, change things, we could be the least of a nail, or a piece of wood in his work - that too only when he wishes.

Truth known to everyone - but have we realized its importance ?

There should have been controversies in the mind's of people, but many does not dare to come out and tell the world, that how could "cupid" play a role in an arranged marriage, where the groom decides to wed the bride on a single day at a mere look.

People have strongly been opposed, for letting the world know, that it is hard to decide as such, because for centuries this is the practice here in India,since people had proved to live happily with their better half, with the same arranged marriage.

Some traits and factors like the supposed behavior of the lady as per the culture, that is been taught to the Indian women, right from their childhood, have definitely contributed to the success of marriages in India.

On the other hand, marriages on understanding (I prefer to call this way instead of Love marriage)also has its own advantages, but many times, they fail, because understanding in the Indian scenario, never happens the right way. Mostly they would try and understand the person's likes and dislikes which they mention in slam books on the final day of school or college.

If asked, which is better - i probably will not have an answer, because the success of marriage does not depend on the type of marriage, we call - but the people involved in marriage and their dedication towards marriage.

Even if we like it or not, we have decided and promised before God, that we would love and keep him/her at happiness no matter how good /bad situation is. Hence, it is nothing wrong to love them abundantly and show them the love which we have at heart in all the ways we can. Love hided in mind, can never be understood.

We will not have / afford to have too many spouses (that is definitely not right)to let them assume things about their better half and situations. After all we have just one (no more spares), so how much should we take enough care to make them happy and satisfied in life.

One would consider a life worth living, if he/she considers his/her marriage successful. It is not only a responsibility of every spouse to make the other feel so, but if they cannot love and make their better halves happy, who else they can???
What can we give the world in return, for the time we spent here, resources we use, relationships we earn.... Just nothing....

Why not the true love which makes at-least our better-half have a life worth living?

Long live marriages!!! Let God be with all the married couples!!! Let Him bless them and grant their desires come True!!!

All Glory to God, who thought marriages are good and made man and woman live together as family.

Names, people, situations Forgotten or Forgiven????

Just like everybody, who is in their late 20's, i had a lovely childhood. I lived in a joint family, with my father's parents and siblings. Every Christmas, New-year, Easter week, is still refreshing. The festive mood and the number of people at home, though everyone liked it or not, was really a great time for we, children.

The preparations, be it cleaning or cooking, shopping or outing, it was wonderful. The World seemed more colourful, than it is now. Sinless life, with innocence, must have added colours, i believe. I still love the same T.nagar in early 1990's than it is now... don't know why, remembering the instructions from my aunts' "Watch out for stuff on roads - do not let your mind wander on things displayed"

My Grand Parents, both of them doesn't exist... For that matter, all four of them doesn't. Infact, Now, after getting married, i do have another four grand parents, but, even they don't exist.

Two years, after my grand mom's death, we all had her photographs in our houses - i mean my dad's house, my aunt's house.To be very frank, her face, should probably be the face i would have seen most of my early stages of life. Now after 14 years, her face seem to be vanishing from my mind, definitely not the thoughts. My grand pa, died recently after i got married, still everything is the same, except for that matter, now i live with my husband.

I understand, it is definitely not a condition to be pitied, for the nuclear families we have now, as everybody desires to have one and live their life to the fullest. But to my children, they will know their parents, their traits, characters, they will know their grand parents too. But how about their great grand parents??? May be i would try and make sure that i let them know who their great grand parents are, what their names are and where they lived.

But beyond that, i may not be able to tell them. For that matter, they would know more about "Akbar the Great", "Hitler" and "Gandhiji - Father of our Nation". Also more about " Rajnikanth - the Superstar" and "Kamal Hasan - The Great Actor"

All i realize, all of us existing now would be forgotten, by the next coming
4 - 5 th generations, just as how employees who are fired,are just not remembered by a time period of 5 years.

Some traits might be remembered, but the person, who had that trait might be forgotten. Good, even if we could bring such a trait/ character/ any good thing to this world. I believe that would be worth living a life here in this world. May be that could rightly be the purpose for your /(our) creation.

I always have a habit of remembering people of my past, be they exist or not - pray for them or their souls and feel that it is to be forgiven whenever, you(I am) are forgotten, that it is nothing new, that people does including me and you, who reads this.

Slight change of Attitude!!!

I have always been thankful for the way i am brought up, to God Almighty. Though i had different sets of challenges at various stages, i am in the right path, which gives me a sense of satisfaction now whenever i think about it. I was successful at school and college, though it was not to the level to be advertised, I have considered all those success as a reward from God, for my hard-work. But at the same time, there were certain things, which i wasn't happy about myself and i had always had somebody to blame (especially my parents) for my so called failures. I never knew, how i picked up this attitude, but many times, i have told on their faces that i had or having a bad time because of them. Even now, when ever i see people with good behaviors/ attitudes, i tend to appreciate them at heart for their attitude and had never tried or tend to appreciate their parents for the way they have brought up their child.

As always said, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, my Husband, has an entirely different opinion for the success or failures of young men and women. Whenever, i tried to appreciate him for a behavior, he always mentions his parents and the way they brought him up. Also, whenever, i find a mistake or something wrong with him, he mentions it very clearly, that he had developed a wrong attitude/ behavior and he is solely responsible for it.

I was just the same, so long ... that even when i see a unmannered behavior of my student, i tend to blame their parents and for good mannerisms i appreciate their attitude.

I was blind, and had no different opinion on this even after my marriage, till the time, i found my younger brother had developed a very similar attitude of mine, but he was many steps ahead of me. I don't know, may be he would have picked up this from me. (there could be no other source - so in a way i am responsible) I realized that i am wrong and tried to take steps to correct myself and my brother.

I too will be a mother soon, i realize the pain of being blamed for certain things that happens in the child's life. after all, everybody likes to be appreciated and not blamed, and when it comes to a family - there could be no other bonding so strong and healthy. why not we give them good things in all the ways we can???

A new beginning!!!

Life isn't what we really think it to be!!!

We, humans are also not so much to be thought high. When everything fails, when patience is tested, When pains go beyond than you expected, when trustworthy people just leave you in your needy times, when hope is at the minimum........

We will have to become a child again.... expecting miracles from the father above, who created us.

With no other option, expect God, never fail to believe him with all your senses.

He will not leave you, at any cost!!! so be glad!!! and Believe....

Miracles have happened, it will happen to anyone who believe!!!

Some Email jokes - lost its glory

Subject: Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives.............


Good Morning Friend.....


Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but certainly not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Ultimate True Test :

Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who's the happiest to see you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is a surprise, I received this mail from a lady. She is my friend, She is married and having a son.

I could not make out the real intension, of this mail.

Even, if this has to be taken easy; there is nothing worthwhile to read this and enjoy.
May be, the creator of similar emails, has to think again, before creating something like this.

Well, i don't think, I should state,who a wife is to the person, who created this mail. I would be equivalent to, me jumping into the ditch; myself.

Such emails, could be the results of the current culture, we have. May be, we all had to do something, to prevent insulting Human race, Be it a Man or a Woman

My First Story in the blog!!!

Its often surprising me, marriage just a 8 letter word, has so much inside. It is Sweet and Sour, adding flavors to individual lives and the society. I really don't know, what makes me to share views,about marriage related topics than any other.

Couldn't wait anymore, thoughts just flowing down... Let me type it here...

It was around 6.30 in the evening, when Hannah started walking to and fro in her garden, She looked very disturbed, as if she is fighting with herself.

Neil, her Husband; Even though there is not much to describe him, He loves Hannah a lot. Not only Hannah, But everyone who knows them, knows, whatever Neil does, it always represents his love for Hannah. He is definitely not an extra ordinary lover,( as always expected by Ladies) But an ordinary faithful Husband.

For 7 years, they are married. They live without children.Life was peaceful irrespective of the usual challenges that occurs in everybody's married life. Trust, was the only factor, tied, both of them towards each other.

Hannah, could never forget, the past Tuesday that she marked it in her personal Diary. Hannah, was never been so angry before Tuesday. Hannah, used to hold her patience almost all the time, when things doesn't favor her. For Neil, it was a hard surprise to see Hannah, being on her nerves, which he had never seen in his seven years of marriage. Without knowing the cause, Neil spent 6 hard hours with Hannah.

Finally, Neil wants to put an end to the situation, he said " Unless you tell me the reason for your anger, You are probably making the situation worse, inviting me to argue, and lose temper just as you are" This made her break down.... that she threw the letter on his face and walked straight to the dinning hall and she lied and started to sob.

Neil, after 30 minutes, came with a milk shake to Hannah. he said " Please do not break down Hannah, Listen to me and you react. This was the missing love letter , which i could not show you, as i had lost it. This is nothing new to you, you know my past."

Hannah interrupted " Can I speak now? I saw the covering letter and address. The stamp holds the date of the previous week"

Neil : Good, My wife, did you look into the letter's date? Or did U check the other letters from the same lady?

Hannah looked puzzled and went running to see the date of the letter and other letters. The date was mentioned as " 3- 12- 1997". The other letters from the same lady contained documents, like his bike Insurance Policy, purchase receipts of some furniture etc.along with a Note

" Mr. Neil, These documents belongs to you. We found it from your cupboard, whose key you lost, when you were working with us. We thought it should be useful to you and we are sending it to your residence"

To Hannah's Surprise, the lady was the Receptionist of his previous company.

Hannah was mortified, she apologized to Neil, Humbling herself to the core.She remembered all the favors, she had received from Neil and his enduring love.

It was hard for Hannah, to accept herself with her behavior, and she was so upset with it. She asked herself a thousand times, that she was so very patient for so many things and what made her, lose it all of a sudden.

At 8.00, She decided, to leave her disturbance for a while and went to prepare the food, which Neil loves. In the Night, Neil asked Hannah, " Are u ok?" Hannah replied "I believe so" Neil comforted her saying, it's ok dear. I even, might have reacted like you, if I were in your place. After all, i could never count the times, you stayed patient, when i was rude to you. So lets' forget it.

Hannah, kept so quiet smiling,inside she was comforted; that she tore the paper from her diary.

Marriages are Made in Heaven. No man, has the right to break it. Lets try to make our lives feel like heaven, in between "hell -ful" times.

Our TNEB and its challenges...

I was born here, brought up, received an identity, and so much. May be this blog is too small to write my relationship with India.

Very few months, I lived in a Foreign country. Quite sometime, there was so many things to complain about the other country, as i missed all those which i used to have it, in my past.

Best of things is the freedom... I cannot explain it here,this blog is not relevant to elaborate it. But, after spending few months there, when i came back here; The very first day, we suffered without power. Like an average Indian, My mind scolded our TNEB and The Government.

I will also deviate from the subject, still i would say that we Indians expect too much, from The Government as such. Without realizing the fact, resources which are shrinking for the common man, is also shrinking for the Government.

Even after having so many faults,of ruling and opposition parties, our Country is growing. So many visionaries, trying too hard, to make our people convince and making the country grow. This has to be appreciated.

Last week, while i was browsing the newspapers, i read an article from the TNEB. Albeit having so many options to extract electricity, due to our natural resources, our TNEB is in a pitiable condition.

It says,the percentage of electricity wasted in Tamil nadu is more than the countries of abundance. Not that we really waste. But we loot, electricity by unfair means. It also says the cost incurred for replacing transformers, is becoming high, as the number of transformers in repair is high. Being agriculture, the backbone of Indian economy, The Government gave free electricity, to extract water. The number of defaulters in agriculture is more; than any other sector, by setting up motors of high voltage. It was like a story of giving some breathing space for the camel into the tent.

After trying so many options, to prevent wastage; Now TNEB has announced an increase in the slab prices consumed, for various sectors, depending upon the sector and usage.

Well, I understood, TNEB cannot be blamed. Population,usage and the culture of having everything in abundance is the reason for the power-cut. Many companies, organizations started creating awareness among people regarding the usage of electricity.

But creating such awareness, looks like a program, rather than creating it in the minds. Probably, this could be because of the fact, that we people lack in empathy.

We all know, everybody is running for development of personal lives. It is obvious that, if one runs for personal development, the society is also benefited to some extent.But, while we run for it, if we see somebody slip, it is nothing wrong for us to lift them up and run again. May be, we are so concentrated, that we miss out to lift the slipped ones...

It would be great, if we could see others develop as well, as we develop...
India, might turn as " God's own country" as a whole, if we learn empathy as we grow....

Consequences of lifestyle changes

Lifestyle changes is a business idea to many organizations that promotes health. But, this is the outcome of improvements that had taken place in the developing countries, which is certainly an outpity.

People today need Professional/BPO/Marketing/Media Jobs because with, these jobs alone, one can have a decent livelihood. Otherwise, one would be the most obvious lower middle class commoner, if not an Entrepreneur. Even, without a clue, everybody could make out that, the lifestyles of these people has changed to a very large extent.

Some groups of people often are too jealous of the people, who grow with their career. I have personally heard people screaming that let them suffer, they have big salaries; now let them face the issues.

These people,who work as professionals now, have been trying too hard to satisfy everyone right from their childhood!!!!

As a child, parents expects them to be smart, even in looks and in studies. Parents create the child's hobby, they try if they could make them famous through their hobbies. Tenth standard, the children are squeezed both at home and at school, for a mark ceiling to fit them in their relevant groups. Then again in 12th standard, they squeeze them furthermore, to fit them into a professional college.

It has become a status symbol, for the society ; that their children learning in professional colleges. If the children couldn't make it out, they were made to be stressed, letting to put themselves down.

Fearing all this, the child, strives really hard to meet the expectations.

They work too hard, suppressing so many factors, to get a good job. I am very sure, nobody accepts a child, when they fail to meet expectations. I wonder, are children, a doll for the society and the parents???

It is not done yet.........................

As a earning individual, they work like bullocks day and night for the expectation of the company. Family expects money from them, Government expects tax from them, Relatives expects gifts from them (since they are professionalists)

To whom are they living, Does it not enough for the younger generation to earn for 3 meals a day??? Who told them a massive salary is better?

Is it not the society???

Their minds are full of Frustrations leading to all varieties of habits. No time. With the time available, they enjoy with whatever they get. What is there to be envied???

It is actually the expectations of everyone, had made them seek doctors in their early twenties.

Another set of people try to retrieve their health, in exchange for their blood sweat-ed money.

When asked the society, why so many health complaints? - they say these are the consequences of lifestyle changes - result of massive salary!!!!

Who is to be blamed????

His Soul Mate

One evening, when I was in Dubai, I felt little home sick and decided to go for a walk. While passing thorough the Mankhool road, I saw an Old Indian couple in a coffee shop, where usually the young lovers go. They should be of their late 65's or early 70's. I could make out, they were on a vacation here. The way they behaved showed their strong and long love for each other.

From my early 20's, I admire the old couples, spending time for each other. I feel great about their sacrificing love for each other. Many a time, I felt, God still lives in many families through these couples.

I remember my train journey for my Cat exams. I couldn't forget the discussion which i had with an Old man in the train. May be, it took so long to put it into my blog, but it was there in my mind for many years and that when I saw another old couple, it came back so strongly allowing me to write it here.

I was going to Trichi - St. Joseph College, as i had my exams there. It was a Day train, time would hardly pass on. He was on his way to his daughter house in Trichi. For 1 hour, we remained silent. I offered him some biscuits and thus it started. He enquired my trip and i did the same. Slowly he started telling his story.

" I was married in 1971. It was an arranged marriage. I hadn't seen her before the event. There wasn't an occasion called engagement in our times. She was 21 and i was 33. I didn't want it that time as I joined the Tea factory in Assam a year before.

Now - a- days, people like to be married to beautiful girls, She was also beautiful, not of a fair complexion. But shined like a moon. She had sharp features, little curly hair and was very short.

I had nothing there in Assam, not even a rented house. I never bothered to describe my situation and get her consent. I took her there. There were so many things to complain about. But she managed everything in our very little room that she made it a Heaven.

We had 4 children, 2 girls and 2 boys. We got our daughters married and our elder son too. One youngest one is working in Infosys, Bangalore. We didn't know how years passed on.

After so many years of marriage, we started having a life with little comforts. No sooner after we had a house in Chennai, my wife fell sick and admitted in the hospital. I realized we were growing old.

Until then, I was thinking that it was her responsibility to look after the house, take care of the kids, leading them to discipline and all the house hold cores. I had never interrupted or asked her if she needed help. I have just did, whatever he had asked me to do.

Only when i saw her in the bed, I recognized, what our marriage had done to her. She had lost her Shape, health and Beauty, being my wife, being a monther of our kids, being a grand mother for our grand children.

She had done so many things, which we all had taken it for granted for so many years. May be I should have given her something more , which would have made her little more comfortable.

She couldn't make it for more than a week in the hospital.God took her in peace. I had loved her all my life and i am still in love with her.

She was with us, in all our difficulties, But she did not wait to enjoy the fruit of our difficulties.

Now for 2 years, I am just wandering here and there, waiting to join her." He finished.

I remained silent. By then our stations came and I started to the ladies Hostel. In the night, my mind started imagining about them. And i said to myself.... The Old man's wife would even think of him from Heaven for his innumerable number of sacrifices, he had done for her and their family.

(Practical) Behavourial Science - part - I - Business Ethics

I don't know, but I have too many thoughts to write under this topic. May be being a lady, it looks the behavior is gaining lot of importance in my recent days. To a certain extent, unless you behave properly, you cannot live in this world. But, Behavior at Home is not considered, unless it raises issues on public. Well, i really have a lot to write, hence i have divided it into many parts.

The first One is Business Ethics ---

I had to agree that i am definitely not a Known Business woman. But as a tutor here for children, i am doing a business at a very small scale.

I never identified myself as a tutor for arithmetic. Situations and people made me so. I really had doubts in myself when i started doing it. So i did not demand for fees. They decided to pay a nominal amount, for which i agreed. I had arranged for two classes in a week for 2 hours. Many times during exams, they preferred to send children daily, i had never said no. The children came up with full marks.

The children liked my classes, they loved, as i never had given them any home work problems. Theory and Homework were done here in the class.

But during summer Holidays, I had to extend my classes for a single student for her entrance exam in India. I am Supposed to cover the entire syllabus in a month. So, I had to conduct the classes on a daily basis for 4 hours. (2 for theory and 2 for working all problems)

I never asked for an extra fee. I completed. But after a month, there was still a extension of two days.

I was feeling pretty sluggish and tired to take not because that i was ill. But may be less satisfaction, on the monetary terms. But I completed even those two days. The child and her parent was happy. They identified me as one of their important contacts.

On the other hand, I was working as a finance teacher in a School and i worked there for 10 days, in the month of December, including week ends. After that i did not continue there. I told them in advance. There was winter vacation two days after i left. So i was asked to do all my correction work, which i should be doing in the vacation. After i left the organization, i went and asked for the 10 days salary and they made me walk for 8 to 10 times and gave 5 days salary there.

Why such a difference? Does it mean that i am a fool to give more and get less???

Or For an established organisation, is it ok even if they treat their stakeholders badly?

I just got one answer... its looks so simple.... I made someone happy and satisfied.

Probably i don't know what will i do, if i even have such an established enterprise. Will I doing the "real Business" without Business ethics?

Or

Will i remain like the way i am to see all satisfied customers???

Humps and Hollows

26 years 2 months and 24 days old, i have become. I don't remember what exactly happened in the first two years of my life. Then i remember life guided by elders till some grade 9 or so. (i.e) under full control of parents. My Family had so many assumptions about myself during that time. it was all true.

Few examples like:

Anisha was extremely slim

Anisha memorise her lessons

Arithmetic was extremely difficult for Anisha

Anisha was innocent etc.

Another important fact was... ( Anisha had no confidence and Anisha had inferiority complex), which i doubt if they know / not?

Few years later, not more than two years, I felt something was triggering me, kind of pulling factor (could be a a couple of wordings like "failure is a step to success") - I developed interests in studies, extra curricular activities. My Family recognized myself then as

Anisha works hard

Anisha wants to prove herself etc.

That was also the time, i felt so very confused except for the fact that i got to study and move up towards my career.

For another 3 to 5 years, apart from my studies and discipline by order (nothing was practiced, so nothing was in order) i was even more confused. Actually speaking i did not have any idea, what i was striving for, yet my struggles were too much (sometimes for no reason).

Until i finished college, i was living in a fake world. To be very frank, i was like water - if u pour into the cup, it looks in the shape of a cup and will be the colour of the cup. i had no personalized ideas, except for a very few.

All i could see was i kept changing as surroundings changes. And all my life my surroundings were changing once in (probably)every two years. I did not (and i could n't) stick with a set of close friends, as everything was changing. It looked as if nothing was permanent and knowingly and unknowingly i had a set of close friends everywhere, with whom i couldn't stay in touch for long.

Lucky that my family did not recognize me fully. If they had, they would have been worried for my unusual confusions.

Thanks to God, I started working.... And to work, one personally should need a character to describe and fit oneself in a required position. My first job wasn't a great success. I hardly felt comfortable there and i couldn't even let them know about my difficulty. All of a sudden i vanished from the office.

My second job was challenging and i liked it. It gave me a shape in character. (Ofcourse my stay in my aunt Uncle's place did changed me) I was able to tell i need this and i don't need something else and so. I worked there for around 2.6 years. That was where i decided how should my partner be. That was where i started my first conversation with my husband. (he was not my colleague, but my very long distant relative)

My third job was cute and interesting, it was just the way i liked and love to work. Work and challenges became my hobbies there. My family recognized me very differently that time.

I don't know , they could be right for their assumptions.

I was strong.

I was able to decide

I was able to convince

I was patient and i learned to listen

I was beautiful and i realized it for the first time in my life.

I was married when i was working with my third company. I let my Husband decide my life and career for sometime, until he understood me properly.

Life looked fresh and new, as if i was born again. i was 25 then, yet i knew nothing. When a new dress is worn for the first time, it will stay with the body, as we like. Our eyes will be closed, until the dress seems to be new. but when it becomes little old, we will actually know real the quality of the dress. And my life is no exception.

Thanks to God!!! Without his blessings, i would not got a life like what i have got.

Though we both had difficulties in accepting negatives attitudes, love did play a good role. i felt God between us many times. My attitudes were changing little by little just as my face. My family now could only see me in photos and in my vacation. I wonder what could be their assumptions. Yet i know something about myself now

• I have added on weight, i am no more a girl, but a lady.
• I am able see things straight and think straight
• I have no disturbances in mind , may be because of that i am teaching arithmetic now (tough challenges are there even now, yet the way i see it has become different)
• i am not at all downcast
• My trust in God and the next person has increased - Lord is my provider and it shall be provided to me.
• My thought about everyday is changed, everyday is a gift and i am living it.
• I wanted to add something more to my career, expecting something from God as well.
• I am thinking twice before criticizing my husband, and even if i do, i am not forgetful to convince him soon after the fight - i will not reduce if i start to tell sorry first, to put a stop for the argument.

I wanted to live for at least another 25 years in this world and i wanted see myself becoming good and clear in thoughts each day.

I know i am travelling towards the betterment of life and i also remember my promise - everyday i will become Good and i will die as a good soul.

My Dream Police Department, India

I have seen lot of people, who are now, doctors, engineers, teachers, lawyers, business people have had a desire to become a police officer in India. To become a police officer, one has to clear lot of tests, general education, physical fitness, knowledge tests, fitness tests and lot more....

Many would have failed in all these and they have become any one of the above stated professions. Some would have had the desire inside, yet due to physical fitness or other factors, they would have not given a try....

Now, Police Department - the largest Government Organisation, (the dream occupation of many) is been criticized for many reasons. One not so good example is, a young girl, in India hesitates to go to a police station to file a case against somebody. (for various reasons)

May be we have to re - think about the entire concept of police stations -

Why? the dept. needs people who are physically fit??? - All crimes, mistakes and sins , not accepted by society is first done in mind... before it comes as a physical act. The action is only the result of the thought. And our police department doesn't prevent anything, rather it is armed to prevent the criminal thought being executed. Or the department generally gives punishment which is been the verdict of the court

Why? The dept. work only after getting the complaint in writing from the affected parties??? - The process of writing an FIR is rather a difficult process. People hesitate to go to police station for small issues. And people feels better to go there, when they are accompanied by an advocate - who are costly. Therefore, people had to re - think, before they step inside the police station

Fine, all these, which are working now - would have been thought well and hence our police stations work this way....

Why? don't we think of a police station which has the following -

A call centre - A call centre where all, to be complaints could be discussed via telephone - that is even before the occurrence of the crime or feared to be uttered; and a safety measure could be advised /a support could be given (just like a normal call centre and credit card team)

mail support - mail support for counselling, filing complaints could also be done as everyone now are familiar with internet today

Counselling supporters - Some people might like to talk before committing a crime. Such people when they likely to have a problem, there might be no one to listen to them or somebody whose advice had made them act negative. For example - committing a suicide...

Prisons Should contain teachers, who teach developing positive attitudes - Prisons, a place where people never like to visit in lives - there should be teachers/physiologists who teach "How to Dream?", "How to feel the goodness of good deeds?"

Well, Though it is a dream.... some day when it happens, the society might have a positive change....

All the doctors, engineers, lawyers, teachers, business people - who once had a dream to join the Police department can also work on a part time basis, for the goodness of the society....